DONT: Feed Canned Food/ Meats
Gross. As if. Like, who even snacks canned meat anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird infatuation with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a blood-red fucking pennant that this girl was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always boasting about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in them and makes your organization to hold on to water, which is why your face is always puffy or you have pocketed under your eyes that can be seen from space, and your acne is at World War III proportions.
DO: Eat Salmon
Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and likewise be hateful on Instagram, gobbling salmon is a sure way to get better gazing skin. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty battery-acids and healthy fatties. These paunches fortify cadre membranes and nourish the skin to prevent you examining fresh AF.
DONT: Drink Green Juice
Lol only because you regularly say shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre drinking to purge your mas are actually truly fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as hell, specially the dark-green juices which can have up to 50 grams of carbohydrate in them, which is actual sabotage when it comes to having clear scalp.
^ I suppose every fitstagrammer when the catch out they’ve been shooting liquid carbohydrate into their
DO: Drink A Protein Smoothie
Aside from having something to talk about with the hot teach at your gym, protein smoothies was in fact be beneficial for your surface. The more you know. Abide away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These the different types of smoothies are high in healthy fattens and wont leave your skin seeming more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend.
DONT: Eat Ice Cream
Okay, this one I met coming. Good-for-nothing that savours this good can be anything but destruction on your mas. And since Im
not on my period rn in control of my form I predict Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which can shape this fun concept called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your body. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with the most are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy searching. So basically gobbling ice cream is aging you.* steps into oncoming traffic*
DO: Eat Dark Chocolate
Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your skin. So even though it tastes healthy and the whole period youll be wishing you were dining real chocolate with real flavor at least your skin will look good AF and protection against wrinkles and other bad shit.
DONT: Drink Coffee
HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick parody. You want me to give up my
will to live caffeine? Do you also want me to commit homicide the next time someone replies all to ministries and departments email chain? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my brain around because coffee is literally one of the only reasonableness I get out of berthed in the morning, and therefore, the reason you get to experience this twinkling personality. That tell me anything, coffee is a diuretic( bogus news Im sure !) which causes your form to lose water and your surface to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you require glowy AF skin.
DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water
This replacement sounds about as good as the Republicans plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though the prospect of booze hot lemon liquid know it sounds as enticing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super are you all right. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and renders some much needed support efforts to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the main organ that detoxifies their own bodies and if youre full of poisons boozing on days that resolve in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have neat things.
DONT: Eat Bagels
Okay, Im starting to feel personally victimized by such lists. Like, is person looking at my bank affirmation and be careful to ensure that I invest a great amount of my down time in coffee shops and/ or bagel browses? Because Im detecting truly assaulted rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your skin and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for epoches.* prays this is phony report*
DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats
Tbh Id preferably starve than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the cost we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right kind of carbs probs because it searches miserable to eat and likewise because its high in antioxidants which weve established will not only give you clear/ glowy scalp but too combats against anti-aging.
DONT: Drink Soda
To absolutely no ones bombshell except my own because I refuse to read descriptions written by
health professionals people who are out to destroy my joy, soda are detrimental to you. And merely because you drink diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda especially disrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your intestine. Also drinking any kind of soda can really fuck with your scalp. Like, stimulate rosacea, eczema, and acne fuck with your skin. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Too, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant simply suck vodka straight-out. I want to have clearer surface , not die.
DO: Drink Kombucha
Finally something that appears good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my scalp. About damn occasion. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all your life problems. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you miss clear scalp by the time this weekend’s brunch buns around then chug some of this and simulated like its
booze something you enjoy drinking.
So, in conclusion, anything that brings you rapture is likely fucking up your skin and you are able to cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not do the listing, but thats predominantly because I refused to do any actual study that would demonstrate otherwise. Who says you cant induce your own destiny? Listen, if all else neglects and you
have no self restrain dont wishes to sacrifice your prosperity theres always Facetune.
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