DONT: Ingest Canned Food/ Meats
Gross. As if. Like, who even dines canned fleshes anymore? Other than my ex from college who had this weird preoccupation with eating vienna sausages( which, in hindsight, should have been a red-faced fucking flag that this kid was a sociopath. That and his Belk credit card that he was always bragging about ). Canned and/ or highly processed foods have a shit ton of sodium in them and induces your body to hold on to water, which is why your look is always puffy or you have pocketed under your eyes that can be seen from opening, and your acne is at World War III proportions.
DO: Eat Salmon
Aside from giving you a reason to pretend to be a foodie and likewise be hateful on Instagram, feeing salmon is a sure practice to get better examining scalp. Salmon is rich with omega-3 fatty battery-acids and healthy fatties. These fattens fortify cadre layers and nourish the skin to maintenance you searching fresh AF.
DONT: Drink Green Juice
Lol exactly because you routinely say shit like #FitLife and #CleanEating on your IG does not mean you know wtf is good for you, because SURPRISE all those juices youre drinking to purify your mas are actually actually fucking bad for you. Juices are sugary as blaze, specially the light-green juices which can have up to 50 grams of sugar in their own homes, which is actual destruction when it is necessary to having clear scalp.
^ I guess every fitstagrammer when the catch out they’ve been spouting liquid carbohydrate into their
DO: Drink A Protein Smoothie
Aside from having something to talk about with the red-hot manager at your gym, protein smoothies was in fact be beneficial for your skin. The more you know. Remain away from the juicer smoothies and opt for one with some protein in it. These types of smoothies are high in healthy fats and wont leave your skin searching more ratchet than your Snap story last weekend.
DONT: Eat Ice Cream
Okay, this one I learnt coming. Good-for-nothing that savours this good can be anything but destruction on your organization. And since Im
not on my season rn in control of my mas I approximate Im open to suggestions here. Ice cream is chock-full of sugar which are able to flesh this fun circumstance called advanced glycation end products which fucks up the protein in your person. Why is that important you may ask? Because the proteins it fucks with “the worlds largest” are the ones that keep your skin plump and springy searching. So mostly eating ice cream is aging you.* paces into oncoming transaction*
DO: Eat Dark Chocolate
Dark chocolate aka the DUD of chocolates has a fuck ton of antioxidants in it, which is v good for your skin. So even though it flavors healthy and the whole age youll be caring you were dining real chocolate with real flavor at the least your skin will search good AF and be protected against wrinkles and other bad shit.
DONT: Drink Coffee
HA HA HA HA this has to be some sort of sick gag. You want me to give up my
will to live caffeine? Do you too want me to commit homicide the next time person responds all to a department email chain? DO YOU? This one is tough for me to wrap my intelligence around because coffee is literally one of the only intellects I get out of bunked in the morning, and consequently, the same reasons you get to experience this sparkling identity. That tell me anything, coffee is a diuretic( fake bulletin Im sure !) which causes your figure to lose liquid and your scalp to get v dehydrated. Stay away from this shit if you want glowy AF skin.
DO: Drink Hot Lemon Water
This replacement sounds about as good as the Republican plan for health care but thats neither here nor there. Even though the prospect of booze hot lemon irrigate sounds about as seducing as sleeping with Jonathan The Tickle Monster, its actually super good for you. Its hydrating, full of antioxidants, and throws some much needed support efforts to your liver. Apparently, the liver is the main organ that detoxifies their own bodies and if youre full of poisons drinking on daytimes that aim in Y, youre more likely to break out. Sighs. And this is why we cant have neat things.
DONT: Eat Bagels
Okay, Im starting to feel personally victimized by such lists. Like, is person looking at my bank account and seeing that I spend a great amount of my down time in coffee shops and/ or bagel browses? Because Im detecting truly assaulted rn. Apparently, bagels are the worst for your scalp and can lead to a cascade of hormones aka acne breakouts for daylights.* prays this is bogus information*
DO: Eat Non-Processed Carbs or Oats
Tbh Id instead starve than eat something that resembles animal feed but I guess thats the price we pay to look like the “after” girl in an acne commercial. Oats are the right kind of carbs probs because it examines miserable to eat and too because its high in antioxidants which weve proven will not only give you clear/ glowy scalp but likewise battles against anti-aging.
DONT: Drink Soda
To perfectly no ones surprise except my own because I refuse to read labels written by
health professionals people who are out to destroy my happy, soda is bad for you. And precisely because you drink diet soda doesnt mean youre safe. Because diet soda specially disrupts the necessary and healthy bacteria found in your bowel. Also sucking any kind of soda can really fuck with your scalp. Like, justification rosacea, eczema, and acne fucking with your surface. K. Just fuck me up rn then. Likewise, wtf am I supposed to order at the bar to go along with my vodka then? I cant exactly suck vodka straight-out. I want to have clearer scalp , not expire.
DO: Drink Kombucha
Finally something that searches good on my Instagram story and isnt going to fuck up my skin. About damn day. Basically Kombucha is good for you because its fermented, and therefore full of probiotics, which will solve all your life difficulties. Im paraphrasing, but still. If you want clear scalp by the time this weekend’s brunch buns around then chug some of this and claim like its
alcohol something you enjoy drinking.
So, in conclusion, anything that brings you joy is maybe fucking up your scalp and you should cut it from your diet ASAP. I am feeling #blessed rn that alcohol did not clear the index, but thats mainly because I refused to do any actual experiment that would demonstrate otherwise. Who says you cant build your own predestination? Listen, if all else miscarries and you
have no self ensure dont wishes to sacrifice your gaiety theres ever Facetune.
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